If you’ve clicked on this post you know who I’m talking about… We all have one. For some of us she’s louder than for others. And for some of us she might be an inner champion rather than an inner bitch. But she’s always there. That inner voice who tells us whether we’re good enough. Slim enough. Successful enough. Loved enough. If you have an inner bitch, she’s the reason for your negative thinking. The reason why your inner voice can be so critical and hurtful.
When it comes to our post baby bodies, she can get a little louder too. She might be shouting at you that you need to lose the baby weight. Fast. Or that everyone will judge you for having an overhang. Perhaps she’s telling you that your partner couldn’t possibly find you attractive after having a baby. That stretch marks are ugly. Or that you should be back to your pre-baby weight by now.
She can be fuelled by things or people around her too. So if you have friends or family telling you that your body isn’t good enough she’s going to be a lot stronger. Or perhaps you’re seeing everything on social media that’s telling you how you should be losing the baby weight or how you can get a flat stomach after a baby and that’s giving her the ammunition she needs to make you feel bad.
Make no mistake, an inner bitch will make your life miserable and make it almost impossible for you to love your post-baby body. So really, she’s got to go.
It’s not easy to silence your inner bitch but you can use these 3 tips to help keep her quiet.
#1 – Practice mindfulness
If you’re anything like me your inner bitch tends to start talking when you let your mind drift. You might be on the school run or standing at the sink washing up when she starts putting thoughts into your head, telling you what you need to worry about or what is wrong with you. So one way of dealing with her is to have a focus whilst you do whatever it is you’re doing.
This is why mindfulness can work really well. By practicing mindfulness you keep you mind on what is right in front of you. You’re focused on the present moment and what you are doing. This stops your inner bitch from being able to get into your head. Mindfulness takes practice but once you get the hang of it it can be really powerful in quieting your inner voice and stopping negative thinking.
If you’ve not come across mindfulness or aren’t sure how to do it then check out mindful.org – they even have a short meditation on how to calm your inner critic! There are lots more resources, websites or apps to help you learn mindfulness so just do a little bit of research and you are sure to find something that will work for you.
#2 – Use distraction
If mindfulness isn’t your thing then another way to deal with intrusive thoughts is to distract yourself. My favourite way of doing this is to put on music that makes me feel really great. I love to sing so anything that I can join in with works really well. I have a Spotify playlist of all the songs that make me happy so whenever I’m struggling with my inner bitch and negative thinking I simply click play and let the music drown her out.
Another distraction might be calling a friend. Reading a book. Scrubbing the kitchen floor or organising the cupboards. It might be that getting out of the house or where ever you are breaks your train of thought and gets her to go away.
Whatever it is, find something that will keep your mind occupied and busy. And if it’s something that lifts your mood or makes you feel great even better.
#3 – Exercise
Now I don’t necessarily mean hitting the gym and spending 3 hours pumping weights till your arms are going to drop off. Although if that works for you great! Really, I mean anything that gets your heart rate a little higher and leaves you feel good afterwards.
I’ve never been a gym bunny (and never will be either) so for me this is usually a brisk walk through a local nature reserve. It might also be dancing round the lounge with my kids to our favourite songs. Other options might be swimming, ice skating, trampolining, racket sports, an exercise class, yoga, pilates… the list could go on.
I find doing something with my kids (ice skating or swimming) works really well too as there is the added benefit of distraction in there too. Plus when we do something as a family we have fun and a giggle. It’s win win all round as the better you feel, the harder it is for your inner bitch to bring you down.
So there you have it – 3 simple ways to silence your inner bitch. If you want lots more hints, tips and tools to get rid of your inner bitch sign up now for my free 5 day challenge on How to silence your inner bitch. You’ll get loads of great stuff to help you get rid of her once and for all.
You can also get in touch to book a coaching session where we’ll work together to find out where your inner bitch has come from and what you need to do to be free of negative thinking for good.